Anxiety is trying to protect you

Although anxiety can feel overwhelming, I don't see it as the enemy.

I've found that anxiety is often our mind and body trying to protect us from something that feels threatening. Sometimes the threat is obvious, but often it is much deeper than the situation we are worrying about.

For one person, anxiety may be protecting them from rejection. For another, it may be trying to prevent failure, conflict or loss. Sometimes it develops after difficult experiences in childhood, where being constantly alert was the safest way to cope. At other times it appears after trauma, illness, major life changes or prolonged periods of stress. For others, it develops gradually through years of perfectionism, responsibility, people-pleasing, a strong sense of responsibility for others. Rather than asking, 'How do I get rid of my anxiety?', it can be more helpful to ask,

'What is my anxiety trying to protect me from?'

When overthinking takes over

Overthinking often begins as an attempt to solve a problem or prevent something bad from happening.

Unfortunately, it usually has the opposite effect.

The more we analyse, the less certain we become.

Many people become trapped in cycles of questions such as:

• Did I say the wrong thing?
• What if I've upset someone?
• What if I make the wrong decision?
• What if something terrible happens?
• Why can't I stop thinking about this?

The mind keeps searching for certainty, but certainty rarely comes. Instead, the thinking itself becomes exhausting. Sometimes it turns into OCD & intrusive thoughts.

Together we can begin to understand what keeps these cycles going and find different ways of responding, so that your thoughts no longer have quite so much power over you.

Panic attacks

Panic attacks can feel frightening. Many people worry they are losing control, having a heart attack or "going crazy." Although they can be intensely distressing, panic attacks are a natural response to the body's alarm system becoming overwhelmed.

Rather than seeing panic as something dangerous, therapy can help you understand what your mind and body are responding to, allowing the fear itself to gradually lose some of its power.

Therapy is not about never feeling anxious again

People often come to therapy hoping they can get rid of anxiety completely.

While anxiety usually becomes much more manageable, I believe the goal is not to eliminate it altogether, but to change your relationship with it.

As we begin to understand why anxiety developed and what it has been trying to achieve, it often becomes less frightening. Many people discover they are able to make room for anxious feelings without allowing them to dictate their lives.

My approach

I work in an integrative way, drawing on different therapeutic approaches depending on your individual needs.

Sometimes it is important to explore the experiences that may have shaped your anxiety. Sometimes we focus on what is happening in your life right now. At other times we may notice how anxiety shows up in your body, your relationships or the way you speak to yourself.

Our bodies often tell us as much as our thoughts do. By becoming curious about both, we can begin to understand your anxiety more fully rather than simply trying to silence it.

I believe therapy should be a collaborative process. I won't tell you how you should live your life, but I will work alongside you to help you understand yourself more deeply and find a way forward that feels right for you.

My understanding of anxiety

I believe anxiety makes sense.

Rather than seeing it as something that is wrong with you, I see it as a protective response that developed for a reason. Whether it began through painful experiences, perfectionism, responsibility for others or simply living under prolonged stress, anxiety usually starts with an attempt to keep us safe.

For me, therapy is not about becoming someone who never feels anxious. It is about understanding yourself more deeply so that anxiety no longer has to run your life. As that understanding grows, many people find they become less controlled by fear and more able to live in accordance with what really matters to them.

You don't have to face it alone

Living with anxiety, stress or constant overthinking can be exhausting. It can leave you feeling isolated, stuck and disconnected from the life you want to live.

Therapy offers a space where you don't have to keep carrying everything by yourself. Together we can slow things down, make sense of what is happening and begin to understand the patterns that have kept anxiety going.

If you're looking for anxiety therapy in York, or prefer online sessions, I'd be happy to arrange an initial conversation to answer any questions you may have and to see whether working together feels like the right fit.

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